Self-reflection sketch

Reflecting on the last few months, I think meaningful to my general development was understanding that creative process happens in leaps. Some weeks I’ll produce less than others, and I slowly learnt to be at peace with that. In this non-linear, organic, complex process, putting expectations of constant progress and being critical is only counterproductive.

I definitely realised that I simply enjoy writing, engaging in abstract discussions, critical and conceptual thinking. Now, at the end of the course, I know that I’m capable of adapting to new contexts, ways of working and thinking, that there is no particular career I’m made for, and I can try new things, believing in myself a little bit more.

Quite significant realisation was about the importance of conveying anything by making someone experience it, feel it, live it, rather than through explaining or representing it. Immersive work would speak for itself without putting thoughts in words or stating what you see.

One of the biggest lessons was becoming open to that at the end of the process I’ll have something completely different that what I imagined; and how I relate to it will also change. It’s a tricky thing in itself – what can you hope to achieve. Because one thing almost certain for this process is that its final outcome will be completely different than what you aimed for at the beginning. So in a way, at the start you need to have a specific direction in mind and be committed to it in order to move the work forward, but at the same time you need to be open to the work leading you somewhere you didn’t expect.

I think the most successful work was achieved by deciding on a method and then following it persistently to see what comes out of it. Sometimes just sitting down and starting to make something, anything, would trigger the process of inspiration and push the process forward. There are still moments when I get stuck by fixating over what my work is about, but sometimes I find myself more at ease and open to just get my hands busy and see where it takes me.

Personally, I struggle every time I come to some great realisation and then I want to bring it forth through my work. It never works for me, on this course specifically, being clear on the message and figuring out how to convey it. Quite counterintuitively, having a defined intention usually led me to getting stuck. This is, interestingly, the exact opposite of what proved effective to me at work – having an idea to realise, and being persistent and decisive with pushing it through the process, defining a clear what to later find the how… This approach which I used to reach for at work (and still do), here I had to forget about and put aside.

Sure, learning counterintuitive methods and different ways is an interesting, perhaps useful thing in itself. An exercise for the brain not to remain stagnant and mentally stiff, like brushing your teeth with non-dominant hand. But which learnings from this unit will find application in my professional life, only time will tell.